So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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