PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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