id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize