Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize
