apparently the secret to your success is patron
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
