I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize