May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize
