Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
