I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
