Sorry, I don't speak sober.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Randomize
