So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
