Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Acid is not a monday night drug
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
