He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Randomize
