Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
