dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
