During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
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