i think i have herpe
just one?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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