the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize