People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
