I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
