I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize