It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
