And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
