i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
