I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
