I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
