My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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