it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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