That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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