The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
the day after is always just damage control
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Randomize
