..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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