brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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