how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
