His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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