the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
