My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
