508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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