we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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