his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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