based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
The uberlube is also flammable
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize