i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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