they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
