i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
