He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
