My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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