Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
