Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
