enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
