I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
