I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
no you cant smoke seaweed
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
