I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
