Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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