I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Randomize
