I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
