Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
