He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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