he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
