everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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