is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
